By Michele Garville
It seems as though society has changed the ways of dating, again. If you haven’t gotten the memo, it isn’t cool to date anymore; having an honest and meaningful relationship with someone is completely overrated. Instead, you must strive for one-night stands or complicated “relationships” even though you’re not technically official. Let me break it down for you: if you are “talking” with someone, you are basically dating them. These rules are as follows: they can text you whenever they want, however, if you text them, you could be categorized as clingy. They never meet your parents. They only occasionally hang out with your friends, and there are only specific times you are allowed to hang out with them (between 11 pm and 2:30 am are usually the best times… for them).
In the beginning, it seems like harmless fun; you are a young, independent woman who does not need a man. And for a while, it is empowering. You have boys messaging you from different dating apps begging to meet you. You have the “eat men for breakfast” mindset and you will call all the shots. However, let me be the one to break it to you, this will change. Ultimately, in my experience, you will find someone to have this new “relationship” with, someone who you promised you would not get attached to but in the end, someone will get attached– you both might. You will eventually admit that you want something more concrete, something more stable; someone to hold your hand in Central Park on a Sunday afternoon after brunch. But men who are using those dating sites, most likely do not want something long term, and you promised yourself you would acknowledge that. After having many talks, you both agree it will be better if you go your separate ways. So you end up exactly where you started: alone.
This is why I am swearing off all dating apps, and you should too. In society women are constantly oppressed; we are told our views do not matter as much as a man’s. We are told that we do not have the same values as men (which is depicted daily when we make 79 cents to a man’s dollar). By giving into men who do not deserve us we are, in a way, oppressing ourselves. Now please do not misunderstand what I am trying to say. I know and believe that there are men who are worthy and honorable, but they are not on Tinder– but they are out there.
Am I the only one who craves a great love story? I want a mutually loving relationship where we respect each other and make time for each other– ladies don’t forget that relationships are a two-way street. A relationship filled with trust and honesty is something I am striving for which supports my boycott of Tinder and other dating sites.
I am not writing this to discourage you; I want to empower you. You deserve better. You don’t deserve to be a booty call or someone that they turn to at the eleventh hour. You deserve someone who makes you one of their priorities. Why would you settle for anything less? Eventually, these types of relationships have a negative effect on your self-worth. Maybe you start to believe the negative words in your head, the ones that scream that you will never be pretty, skinny, or funny enough for them. This is not true. If you’re in a situation where you begin to question your self-worth, RUN. It is okay not to have someone at the moment. Your great love story will come, but it will not begin with hooking up with random people via Tinder.